A couple of weeks ago, my wildest dreams came true. I was living on the Toronto Island for 10 days in an artist residency titled Awakening, to further my artistic practice. I had no idea what was in store for me: I would have a true spiritual awakening. There were so many aspects to this experience that it would all be too much to share, so I will focus this blog on my own inner experience on how being in nature rekindled the flame in me and ignited my truth.
Living on the island led to some positive shifts in my mindset and habits. Being just metres from the beach, every morning I would go down to the lake and meditate for 20 minutes. Something about the beach was so calming, so magical, that I was always drawn to it. If I was ever not sure what to do, I would simply go to the beach and think. I would do this several times a day, and this habit did amazing things to my wellness.
From this, I found the voice of my intuition to be impossible to ignore. I always knew what was best for me to do in any given moment. There was never any need to second guess myself. This allowed me to be honest with myself and set boundaries around my own personal space. If I needed a nap, I took a nap. If I needed quiet time away from people, I escaped to the beach. These are all such simple things, but it’s amazing how often we second-guess ourselves without realizing it. Finally, for me, the island was a sacred space for creation. Having my own studio space for the first time in my life was very spiritually significant for me; I had a space dedicated to the creation of my work, and it made my career as an artist a tangible thing. Naturally, having this space allowed the art to flow out of me with grace and ease.
Beyond this, I felt myself having a spiritual awakening in connection with the earth. I allowed myself to fully connect to the earth, and revert to the time of childhood, the time when I was simply at play. Like a child, I did not care about being dirty: I would walk around the yard barefoot, play in the sand, and create art because my spirit compelled me to. I had trust in the earth to take care of me; by walking barefoot in the sand, my feet would get exfoliated, and the sand would naturally wipe off as I walked along the grass. I could wash off in the lake to get clean whenever the need would arise. The sun would dry me off.
I experienced all four elements in unity. I had the strongest connection with earth, as I could feel the mysticism in the sand. I had strong visions of bodies upon bodies resting in the sand, the spirits of the women who came before me manifesting themselves through the forms of the sand. The sand followed me everywhere: in my clothes, on my skin, in my bag, on my bed, in the shower, on my bedroom floor… there was no escaping it. I had become a woman of the sand. This divine connection I had with the sand became the basis of my work, where I would mix in sand with my paint to incorporate the spirit of the land into my art.
Water also had a profound effect on me. During my time, I was having intense menstrual cramps in my lower abdomen and back. Being in the lake had strong healing properties that I found more comforting to my pain than any medication. The lapping of the waves against my body soothed and healed me, like a child in the womb. Water represented the power of emotions, and why we cannot suppress them. Some days, the waves were calm, the water gentle. Other days, the water reached a meter further down the shore, crashing against the land, threatening to take you under. You cannot resist water or deny her of her power. Sitting on the rubble of the old houses from hundreds of years ago, many of these dwellings were now underwater.
Where I sat will be underwater one day too. As I lay on the beach, I could feel the land shifting, slowly returning to the water. Water is mortality. Denial will not stop anyone from one day being washed away.
The fire made itself clear with the strength of the sun on my body. I felt the fire in the passion for my creation. Fire is the process that forges the earth and water into sand. Fire is necessary to the alchemical process.
Air manifested itself for me through the intense feelings of freedom. I sat at the edge of the beach and watched hundreds of waterbirds go by. Air creates connections with others. Air is our breath, our spirit, our flight.
Furthermore, life on the island made me realize just how little I need to be happy. I found my phone always on silent, because I would forget to turn it off after waking up in the morning. Unlike life in Toronto, I was never concerned about my email or bank account. My use of technology was very limited, not because it wasn’t available to me, but because I chose not to use it, and not to waste time watching Netflix when I could be enjoying the outdoors. As a result, I found myself sleeping much better, and not getting the usual headaches I get from looking at a screen. I also found myself able to live off the land quite easily. It was such a chore to haul stuff from the mainland, that I chose to be happy with what I had and get the majority of my food from the vegetable garden. Even using a shower seemed unnecessary when I could easily wash off in the lake whenever I chose to. There were no stores on the island, but there was no need for them. The beach, the land, and the sunsets instilled a great sense of wellness that cannot be bought.
The metaphysical connections between the body, land, and spirit became louder and more integrated within my practice. My creative energy could not be repressed. My truth came out in my paintings. From this experience, I conclude that to heal, sometimes all we need is some time in isolation with nature. By developing connections with nature, we will develop connections with our true selves, and we will ultimately be free.
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