With the first month of the new year gone by, I’m sure many of us have been focusing on our goals, or given up on them at this point. We are always trying to do more, be more, and live better lives. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, I love self improvement. In fact, I’m a little obsessed. Before the new year, I made a vision board of how I wanted the new year to look, wrote pages of positive affirmations about my dream life, and have been blazing full speed ahead at achieving my goals, no matter how crazy they seem. But at the same time… it’s all been so tiring. Moreover, I know from in the past when I have achieved my goals, I haven’t always taken the time to be present and actually enjoy my accomplishments. Which is why I’m suggesting this: make your resolution this year to be more present in the now. I truly believe that by doing this, we will live better lives, and also better achieve the crazy things we want to accomplish. Here’s 10 actionable ideas you can take to be more present and live for the now:
1. Know you will always be chasing more. The truth is, everything you ever dreamed of could be right in front of you, but if you are so focused on wanting more, you won’t be present to enjoy what you have. It’s like driving a car, you have to look ahead of you to see where you are going, but if you are looking too far ahead, you will lose awareness of your immediate surroundings, which could lead to disaster. No matter where you are in life, whether you have ten dollars or a million, you will always feel like you need something more. This feeling will not ever go away. This is not meant to be discouraging, in fact, quite the opposite. If you accept the dissatisfaction, and understand it will always be present, it allows you to turn to the now, and enjoy what you already have instead. It allows you to trust that what you have right now is enough, and bigger and better things are always on the way.
2. Practice gratitude. This is in line with point 1. You will always be chasing more. If you are so tuned in to the chase for more, the amazing gifts you have right now in front of you will be meaningless. So make it a habit to be thankful every day for what you have. Bonus points if you write it down with pen and paper. Gratitude allows you to focus on the now, and what you focus on, you create. One of my favourite affirmations to practice gratitude is “I am grateful for all my current wealth, and all the wealth I have to come”. (Wealth being both a tangible and spiritual thing) It allows you to be pumped for the future, but also aware of how gifted you are in the present.
3. Brain-dump everything you need to do before winding down for the night. If you are really goal-oriented like me, you know you are always thinking about the next step and everything you have to do the next day. This can prevent you from enjoying your down time you have rightfully earned, which prevents you from being present. What I suggest you do to combat this is either take out a pen and paper, or use a program like Trello, and brain dump everything you can think of that you need to do. Do not judge yourself or think “that’s not important”, just right everything your brain is bombarding you with. Then look at your list and sort it into three columns (this is why I like using Trello, you can just drag and drop): “Must do”, “should do”, and “would be nice to do”. This way you can actually prioritize what needs to get done the next day, and what is just a random distraction. I suggest you only put one or two things in the must do column. It is too overwhelming to have more than two things, and I can assure you that you will have difficulty properly completing more than two tasks in a day. Once you have written down your priorities, put these into your agenda for the next day. If something is in the “must do” column, you must do it, no negotiations. Since it’s only two things, you are likely to be able to get them done. Asterisk or highlight these items to remind yourself that these are the most important tasks. Write down your “should dos”, but if you don’t get around to them, that’s ok, because you know you will take care of your priorities. I would not bother writing down your “would be nice to dos”, because these are generally just distractions. If you have time to do them after your “must dos” and “should dos”, that’s great, but since they are only nice to do, they aren’t priorities. They are just bonus points. Once you are done your planning (it only takes two minutes, trust me), physically shut your agenda and put it away. You know what you will get done the next day. The rest of the evening is yours. So light your candles, listen to music, read, take a bath, do whatever it is you like to do to wind down, and really enjoy it in the present moment, rather than worrying about what to do the next day.
4. Let go of what is getting in the way of your present happiness, rather than trying to get something else. You can’t take a breath in if you haven’t exhaled. All that really matters is right now, the present moment. You can’t make room for something wonderful to come into your life if you are holding onto something that isn’t serving you. If there is something deep down you know you need to let go to move forward, whether it’s a relationship, a job, a belief, or a place, let it go. No matter how scary it is. Don’t wait to have something else before you let go of what you have. If it isn’t serving you, it’s preventing you from being happy in the present. So let it go.
5. Do things just for the sake of doing them, and give yourself permission to enjoy the time. Overachievers and perfectionists have the tendency to feel guilty about doing things that aren’t “productive”. But it’s okay to do things just for fun, or just because you want to. In fact, are you really living if you aren’t doing things for fun? For example, I like to go to yoga a few times a week. But my future-oriented mindset takes away from the present and enjoying the flow. I’ll catch myself thinking “this is a waste of time, I could be doing x, y, z”, or “how much longer”, or “why did I pay to come lie on the floor for half an hour”, or “just think about the abs you’ll have after this!” All these thoughts come because I haven’t given myself permission to do yoga, just because. But the practice of yoga isn’t to achieve some result. Its purpose is literally to just allow yourself to feel present in your body. When I remind myself that I came to yoga knowing that for 90 minutes, I will be tuning into my body and motion, I enjoy the time much more. If I turn on a video game, it’s to enjoy myself. It’s okay to do things just for enjoyment. In fact, it’s pretty necessary to be happy.
6. Do things for the sake of doing them rather than to get a result. This is in line with my previous point. Don’t expect a result from everything you do. Do things just because. As an artist, this is especially difficult, because I love making art more than anything in the world, but I also expect to make an income off my art. It can be hard to turn off the part of my brain that says “ok, time to paint a thousand dollar painting!” But that isn’t the point of why I do art. The point is to enjoy the process, and playing around with new ideas. It’s okay if not everything I make gets me a result, because I enjoy doing it. If I am so focused on the result I’m going to get, I’m not living in the present. It’s the same with yoga. You don’t practice yoga so you can stand on your head, you do it because it feels good in the moment. Also, when you practice doing things intrinsically, your results usually end up being better anyways. So let go of expectations for a result, and just enjoy how you feel as the time goes by.
7. Limit how often you look at the time. I am so guilty of this. I would always be looking at the time at dance class or yoga class. But then I had an epiphany one day, and realized that the time didn’t matter. If I gave myself permission to go to a dance class from 1:30-3, I know while I’m at dance class, it’s not past 3. So why does it matter what time it is? Worrying about the time reinforces future anxiety, and takes away from the now. So I’m not saying go throw away your watch, but be mindful that if you’re constantly looking at the time, you are less focused on the present.
8. Be mindful of your phone, social media use, and triggers. Let’s be real, no one has sent you a life-changing message on Facebook in the past hour. I love social media, but it is a distraction from the present. Observe what makes you spontaneously check Facebook in the middle of the day. Is it as you are trying to get an important task done? That’s an indication of self-sabotage. Is it when you are in a room full of people you don’t know? You are probably using social media to avoid the discomfort of talking to strangers. Once you know why you are using social media or your phone to avoid the present, you can begin to see where you need to change your mindset. Once you identify you triggers, you can choose to make a different choice instead of going on your phone. So if you realize it’s always when you are around strangers, instead of pulling out your phone, ask the person next to you how their day is going. This will change your habits and allow you to be more focused on the present. When you go on social media, make it a conscience choice. For example, if you just finished writing an essay and want to look at cute clothes on Pinterest for ten minutes, go nuts. You have chosen to use that time for something enjoyable to you, and you aren’t using social media to avoid the present.
9. Have a meditation practice. This can be a literal meditation where you sit in silence for ten minutes, but it doesn’t have to be! For me, yoga is a great meditation practice in the sense that it forces me to be present for an hour. Meditation can also just be a nature walk, vacuuming, chopping vegetables, whatever allows you to shift your focus to just one thing. Just make sure you are practicing it often, and you will see a great difference in how present you are on a daily basis.
10. Be tuned into your feelings and your body. Recognize how you are feeling, and you will be more aligned with the now. If you are on an adventure in a foreign country, say to yourself “Wow, this is so exciting, I feel so alive!” If you are spending quality time with your partner, feel the love, happiness, and togetherness. If you are sad, acknowledge you are sad. If you ignore your emotions, you are ignoring the present, and life will pass you by.
This practices will help you shift your focus more to the now, but remember you are always a work in progress. You will do things that you know do not serve you, but awareness is always the first step to change.
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